The Undisputed Truth

Life is a lot less interesting lately because of the absence of someone that I miss a lot but  I will never see again.

How can you celebrate Christmas and a New Year without those closest to you?

I really don’t see the significance of celebrating on the whole, except for the odd time when I boldly “have a good time” for her sake, and my own, but then shortly after I feel depression again.

Living feels like levitation, because there’s nothing beneath me for support anymore.

I’m so not in the mood this year it isn’t funny.

I’ll try to derive a silver lining from this very grey cloud and encourage all readers to go get screened for cancer atleast once a year. Whether its a  CT scan or colonoscopy, its a step towards the right direction.

To be real though, that in itself may be futile. Tony Snow and Farah Fawcett both knew they had cancer very early on, and both got the best treatment they can afford (and they are both well-off people living in a first-world country)…and they both passed away.

Knowing the truth does change your perspective on life for the better though.

If you knew you may die in a year, would your boss still stress you out? Will you continue bickering with your siblings? Will ex-friends still make you lose your cool? Will exams make you nervous? No. You’ll quickly realize the important things in life : family and loved ones, and making peace with God.

I must make mention of my friend from the library who passed away 2 weeks ago, my friend’s grandmother who passed away this week, and everyone else right now who lost loved ones this year. Rest in peace to you, we love you and miss you everyday, see you soon hopefully..because noone knows what really happens when we approach the end of life…but we all hope for that one thing of atleast seeing you all again.

To my loved one, I miss you with every movement of the seconds hand of the clock home here  and will continue to for the rest of my life. I love you more than words and emotions can express. I can only hope that memories of you will sustain me until we reunite, I’ll try to be ok because I know you’ll want me to. I know it isn’t really goodbye because you’re always with me, but its hard to tell myself that. Damn.